To wait or to ja pa?
The probability exists that at some point, you would be ready
for marriage but your partner would still be unprepared to take that
leap.
When you find yourself in such
situation, you are faced with the possibility of losing the relationship
and seeing all the dreams and hopes you have built come crashing down.
But you must still stay reasonable and decide to either walk away or
negotiate for the relationship to go on for a while longer without
crossing into matrimony. Either of these decisions can be easy or
difficult, and it could be the right or wrong move depending on the
individual wishes you and your partner have.
In situations like this ask yourself first, what
exactly does marriage mean to me and why is it important that I
pressure this person to marry me now? Is it necessary or advisable for
me to disregard my wishes and marry this person even though I would
rather wait it out a little longer?
Whether you are the one being asked or the one
asking, it is the first thing to consider. When you determine this, it
affords you a better perspective of what you should really do. You also
get a better insight into why you should compromise or not.
Your answer to commitment may be an eager ‘yes’ while his is a ‘no’ [Credit: HBO]
If your idea of marriage is really in tandem
with his or hers, waiting sounds like the logical thing to do. Undue
pressure may send them scampering away and if you think they are the
real deal and your relationship reflects that, what does it matter that you would have to wait for some time for before walking down the aisle?
If
you are on the receiving end of the pressure, try to understand if it
is coming from a real readiness to marry you or if it’s because some
other pressure is being piled on them, too! It is common for people to
be bullied, emotionally blackmailed and pushed into marriages by parents
who cite their ages, your age and the need for grandchildren in their
marry-by-hook-or-crook schemes.