The day you get married is the happiest day of your life. It’s the day
you have spent the last few years dreaming about, and everything must
go smoothly and perfectly just like you have dreamed it would. It is the
day you will be gazing lovingly into the eyes of the love of your life
while your heart is beating faster than it should. It is nothing short
of bliss. Both of you are happy to have found each other.
But hard work lies ahead of you both to sustain your relationship. The
thing is that marriage doesn’t come gift-wrapped. It comes in kit form,
which means that you and your partner have to work at things. And you
will find out as the years roll by that in a marriage, there are often
just as many lows as there are highs.
As much as couples would rather keep their marriage drama-free, the reality is that this is just not always possible.
However, there are several common mistakes married couples make which
ensure that their marriage gets off to a bad start. The good news is
that these pitfalls can easily be avoided.
Get your marriage off to an awesome start by avoiding these 10 mistakes:
Focusing on the wrong things
They say that there is no truer saying than life is what you make of it.
But what does this phrase actually mean? It means different things to
different people. If you focus on the bad stuff in life, your life will
be negative. If you focus on the good stuff, your life will be much more
positive. It sounds so simple. Yet so many newly wed couples fall into
the trap of getting annoyed by their partners’ failings. But instead of
focusing on his penchant for lying in on a Sunday morning until noon or
having a few beers after work when we want him home, why not focus on
his good qualities a bit more?
Neglecting kind gestures
When you were dating, you both couldn’t stop showering each other with
kindness. Don’t stop being kind to your partner because you have married
them.
Insisting that you are always right
This is a big mistake that many couples make, and sometimes they prefer
to be right than in love. Unfortunately, too many spouses are so
insistent on being right that they compromise their marriage. A
relationship is so much more than being right. Accept that mistakes
happen. Accept that sometimes it’s okay not to be right – even if you
are.
Getting too comfortable
Being comfortable with one another is perfect. But getting so
comfortable that you stop putting in effort to make your relationship
work is a bad thing. Once you stop putting the effort into your
relationship now that you are married, the fizz disappears. The
excitement goes. Don’t get too comfortable. Keep things edgy and
spontaneous.
Failing to talk about money matters
Your money is no longer just yours. You can no longer take a cavalier
attitude to savings and spending. You must talk about your budget with
your partner as soon as you guys tie the knot. Arguments about money are
the most explosive types.
Refusing to give your partner their space
If you adopt a “we’re married now therefore you’re mine and you have to
spend all your time with me” attitude you’re going to kill your marriage
before it’s even started. Sure, you now belong to one another. You
share wedding rings, houses and maybe even bank accounts. But it doesn’t
mean you have to do absolutely everything together. It’s important that
you still give your partner some space. Let air into the relationship
by doing things independent of one another.
Expecting them to be just like you
We all take to marriage differently. Marriage is a big step in anyone’s
life, and although you two are taking the step together, it doesn’t mean
you’re going to think and act in exactly the same way. Look, there will
be disagreements about how to do things. Their habits and expectations
of marriage will probably vary to yours. Don’t expect everything to be
absolutely perfect and harmonious. If you do, you will
only find it difficult to react when things don’t go your way. Talk to
each other about things. If you have concerns, raise them. But always
listen to what they have to say.